Stress.

I've been getting very stressed out lately. I can't really explain why though; I'm not PSMING and school isn't bad. Although my Ceramics class is taking a toll on me because I'm a slow worker and I suck with clay. I was falling behind, but for the past two days I've been trying to meet my stupid deadlines. I'm still missing a project so far, but at least the ones I finished are half-way decent.

I can't really stand that class in all honesty. The people in there are just plain weird. I hardly talk to anyone, and the people I sit near all talk to each other! Wtf guys. :/ And this one black chick is so incredibly rude, and I also have a biploar Asian girl who enjoys earfucking people. I hate clay, too.

Anyways, I still don't know why but I have been feeling depressed lately. It all started around Wednesday when I randomly started feeling glum. I also tried donating blood that day but got turned down because my iron is too low. That's the second time I got turned down.. :( So I felt very unhealthy and unworthy, hah. The rest of the day just sucked because I had to work on my ceramics, and then my box broke...story of my life.

Jon and I are official though, that gives me something to smile about. :) Although I'm still a little upset about something he told me last night, but there's no need to fret, I think I overreacted.. :/ But it made me feel pretty shitty.

I'm sick and tired of being a worrywart all the time. I need a new view on life. I'm practically scared of everything. :[

Evan graduated! I'm so happy for him. Since I'm still in school though, I can't really go down and see him just yet. Soon though, soon.<3

I'm still gaining some pounds too. Ugh.

Ughughughugh!

Gah.

I'm stuck at work. Savveeeeee me.

Life has been pretty boring lately, but I'm pulling through.

I'm thinking about getting a new phone. As much as I despise people that are CONSTANTLY texting, it wouldn't hurt to have it. :(

I've basically been hangin' around the school all the time with my friends. It sucks being home; there's nothing enjoyable about it, really...

I'm hardly working anymore. I'm poor! But I applied for financial aid and some scholarships so hopefully something good comes out of that...

I'm doing pretty well in my classes, except I failed my first Math test by one point. :( I'm doing extra credit though and I'm going to start getting tutored. Math is hard. :(

So on Monday we had this AWESOME snow day! No school, so Kim, Jon, Kate, Kailey and I all got together for sledding and snowball fights. We're kids at heart. :)

In other news, I am going to get paid at least $100 for designing a local band's album cover! I'm super excited because I've never had a REAL commission before, (as in $$$). I haven't started it yet because I've been super busy with school and such but I can't wait!

Todaaayyyy I plan on working out, hxc. I gained 3 pounds in like, a week because I've been eating very badly. Gah!

Ahoy sailor.

<--Not mine, but I love it.


Life has been good!

Let me reminisce....

I am sitting here with wet hair in my fluffy, white bathrobe and although I am freezing I feel content. Today will be a day to relax, for I have been a busy bee.

Valentine's Day was cute. Jon had to work in New Milford all day though, so I didn't get to see him...but I met up with my friend Mikey at a nice Starbucks in Woodbridge and we chilled for about 2 hours. It was very nice, he is so going to be my new BFF. =)

My Aunt Hooda has flown up from Lebanon to visit. I'm going to go see her tonight...I just hope she didn't bring me back any skanky clothes like she did last time.

New friends, new friends! I am making many. I love them all.

Only thing I am a tad annoyed about is that I am PMSING....right now, I seem to be having a happy tangent but I can promise you that tomorrow I will be very cranky. Yesterday I pigged out NONSTOP and only ate sweet and sugary foods. My weight is fine though. I seem to have improved my metabolism this year from all the exercising and healthy foods. Go me!

Oh, look at this shit:
http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fshop.crocs.com%2Fpc-1444-4-nadia.aspx%3Fnavcategories%3D3%2C124%26gclid%3DCKWBqsPx3p&h=89d960ecf8c6446a60dfd77ffae1e5c9.

Combination of the two worst shoes in history, and they name them Nadia's. Ugh.


Problems with men are lessening because I am developing stronger feelings for Jon and vice versa. =)


I wrote a very long letter to Evan, 8 pages. I sent it out today. I miss him so much. <3

I really don't care much for football.

It's been a while since I posted on this. I kind of forgot I made an account here. I still go back to my old Xanga out of habit sometimes. I feel like I need to reflect on the past few weeks, though.





So, Valentine's Day is approaching. I have never really cared much for the holiday. Shouldn't you show love and appreciation for your significant other every day, not just on one day? It is indeed a holiday invented by greeting card companies.





I have been having guy problems. Before I went to college, I made a personal decision not to get into anything serious with any guy. School is my number one priority, and I have noticed that college relationships aren't very wise. I believe that college is all about meeting new people and trying to find what makes you happy in a person. So, I've been on a handful of dates with many of my guy friends and getting to know some people. Things have been going smoothly I suppose, except I am contradicting this idea. I don't want to play with anyone's hearts or lead anyone on, and unfortunately enough, I have fallen into a rut where that may be the case. I like someone at the moment and would love to get to know him more, but the strong feelings he has for me are not mutual at the moment. I feel pretty dissapointed in myself as well; I have had to politely turn down many of my guy friends this semester. This is all very overwhelming and I am not used to it and trust me, I am really not trying to sound conceited. I feel flattered at most, but I honestly don't like all of this attention. I have a feeling I have hurt quite a few people.





I got a letter from Evan yesterday. He says that basic is very challenging both physically and mentally. He also says the atmosphere is quite depressing as well. I miss him terribly and I hope he graduates soon; I would love to see him.





On a happier note, I have developed a new art style that I am actually quite proud of! I'm working on a new piece right now, but here are the first two of the series:


All it requires is some sharpies, bristol board, a scanner, Photoshop, and some imagination. It really doesn't take me long to finish them either, and apparently, many people like them. I have some musician friends of mine requesting some commission work...I just wish I wasn't so lazy...









Oh, I also think I am slowly becoming an insomniac. Sleep is becoming difficult for me; the other night, I had stayed up for over 30 hours and began hallucinating. It was interesting to say the least, but I really didn't enjoy it at the time. I must be getting about 3-4 hours of sleep every night, and I am dreaming less, which saddens me because I love my dreams.




School is all right. I am making new friends and keeping the old ones, so that's a plus. My classes are decent. I am currently taking Math, Art History, (which I am enjoying), English, Ceramics, and United States History. Ironically enough, I despise my Ceramics class. It may be art, but it is not my forte, and I have yet to talk to someone in that class. Not my kind of people...I have noticed that there is quite a difference between a painters personality and a potters. I'm not enjoying it.




My mother has been yelling at me about my weight and is trying to force-feed me. I weigh 112 pounds at 5'4''. I honestly don't see the problem. I feel terribly out of shape though. I'm not concerned with my weight, but I feel lazy and unproductive. I'm going to get a gym membership at school and go more with Kim at Planet Fitness. I went today and I feel great! I just wish my mom would stop freaking out about what I eat. Honestly, I haven't been hungry lately, and I'm just eating healthier foods. (Today: one apple, half a chocolate bar [to heighten my mood], an iced mocha, and a grilled chicken salad.)




And oh, I have to eat healthier because a visit to the Doctor helped me realize that I have severe acid reflux. Over the course of two months, I have woken up feeling incredibly nauseous and have vomited acid and bile about 4-5 times in a single morning. It was happening about once every week or two, and my parents freaked out thinking that 1.) I was pregnant, or 2.) I was hungover. Of course those both were not true, but now I am blessed with what is apparently severe acid reflux. (Most patients get heartburn at most, but vomiting actual acid is actually quite rare and isn't the best thing that can happen to the human body...) I am currently on a VERY expensive medication and haven't vomited since...so far so good I suppose...




My winter break was actually very lame. Along with the acid reflux, I had gotten a very nasty cold, which developed into a sinus infection, then laryngitis, THEN bronchitis. Not fun. I hate my immune system.




Oh, but I got a new car! That's always fun. 2008 Hyundai Elentra, it's very nice.



I am slowly becoming poor. Because of school, I only work at the UPS store three times a week. I finally got an ATM card though, hoorah.




Well, I must go off and do some homework that I have been putting off, and my laundry is calling. Until next time.

I want to go to a lot of places in the world. I am growing weary of Beacon Falls and the rest of Connecticut. .

Japanese?

I need to decide what classes I am going to take next semester. I can't believe I'm already halfway through the first! Unbelievable. I am pretty upset that I can't take Arabic, because the professor only teaches it once a year, so I'm told. I may as well take Japanese, then. :)

I am feeling very creative. I better get out the good ol' sketchbook.

Even though it's getting chilly, I plan on wearing a dress today.

I've also been thinking about going vegetarian again...or maybe just eating less meat. Not to sure though.

I can't wait for Thanksgiving, though! Have to eat the turkey, haha.

Autumn colors.

If I could have anything right now, it would be to go to a beach during this weather. I have yet to walk on a beach during the fall. I wish I was a beachcomber with a long, tattered scarf, that lived in a small cottage by the shore.

I do miss the flowers though. The trees are nice, but still.

It's getting coooolllddeerrrr...