It's been a while since I posted on this. I kind of forgot I made an account here. I still go back to my old Xanga out of habit sometimes. I feel like I need to reflect on the past few weeks, though.
So, Valentine's Day is approaching. I have never really cared much for the holiday. Shouldn't you show love and appreciation for your significant other every day, not just on one day? It is indeed a holiday invented by greeting card companies.
I have been having guy problems. Before I went to college, I made a personal decision not to get into anything serious with any guy. School is my number one priority, and I have noticed that college relationships aren't very wise. I believe that college is all about meeting new people and trying to find what makes you happy in a person. So, I've been on a handful of dates with many of my guy friends and getting to know some people. Things have been going smoothly I suppose, except I am contradicting this idea. I don't want to play with anyone's hearts or lead anyone on, and unfortunately enough, I have fallen into a rut where that may be the case. I like someone at the moment and would love to get to know him more, but the strong feelings he has for me are not mutual at the moment. I feel pretty dissapointed in myself as well; I have had to politely turn down many of my guy friends this semester. This is all very overwhelming and I am not used to it and trust me, I am really not trying to sound conceited. I feel flattered at most, but I honestly don't like all of this attention. I have a feeling I have hurt quite a few people.
I got a letter from Evan yesterday. He says that basic is very challenging both physically and mentally. He also says the atmosphere is quite depressing as well. I miss him terribly and I hope he graduates soon; I would love to see him.
On a happier note, I have developed a new art style that I am actually quite proud of! I'm working on a new piece right now, but here are the first two of the series:
All it requires is some sharpies, bristol board, a scanner, Photoshop, and some imagination. It really doesn't take me long to finish them either, and apparently, many people like them. I have some musician friends of mine requesting some commission work...I just wish I wasn't so lazy...
Oh, I also think I am slowly becoming an insomniac. Sleep is becoming difficult for me; the other night, I had stayed up for over 30 hours and began hallucinating. It was interesting to say the least, but I really didn't enjoy it at the time. I must be getting about 3-4 hours of sleep every night, and I am dreaming less, which saddens me because I love my dreams.
School is all right. I am making new friends and keeping the old ones, so that's a plus. My classes are decent. I am currently taking Math, Art History, (which I am enjoying), English, Ceramics, and United States History. Ironically enough, I despise my Ceramics class. It may be art, but it is not my forte, and I have yet to talk to someone in that class. Not my kind of people...I have noticed that there is quite a difference between a painters personality and a potters. I'm not enjoying it.
My mother has been yelling at me about my weight and is trying to force-feed me. I weigh 112 pounds at 5'4''. I honestly don't see the problem. I feel terribly out of shape though. I'm not concerned with my weight, but I feel lazy and unproductive. I'm going to get a gym membership at school and go more with Kim at Planet Fitness. I went today and I feel great! I just wish my mom would stop freaking out about what I eat. Honestly, I haven't been hungry lately, and I'm just eating healthier foods. (Today: one apple, half a chocolate bar [to heighten my mood], an iced mocha, and a grilled chicken salad.)
And oh, I have to eat healthier because a visit to the Doctor helped me realize that I have severe acid reflux. Over the course of two months, I have woken up feeling incredibly nauseous and have vomited acid and bile about 4-5 times in a single morning. It was happening about once every week or two, and my parents freaked out thinking that 1.) I was pregnant, or 2.) I was hungover. Of course those both were not true, but now I am blessed with what is apparently severe acid reflux. (Most patients get heartburn at most, but vomiting actual acid is actually quite rare and isn't the best thing that can happen to the human body...) I am currently on a VERY expensive medication and haven't vomited since...so far so good I suppose...
My winter break was actually very lame. Along with the acid reflux, I had gotten a very nasty cold, which developed into a sinus infection, then laryngitis, THEN bronchitis. Not fun. I hate my immune system.
Oh, but I got a new car! That's always fun. 2008 Hyundai Elentra, it's very nice.
I am slowly becoming poor. Because of school, I only work at the UPS store three times a week. I finally got an ATM card though, hoorah.
Well, I must go off and do some homework that I have been putting off, and my laundry is calling. Until next time.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
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